... prepare to hate it now. Page 2's Scoop Jackson writes 3,793 words in first-person as the new basketball, and ... I'm pretty sure that there aren't many of you that want to click that link to find out if I'm kidding. I'm not, though. Scoop Jackson just pretend to be a basketball for almost 4,000 words. That really happened.I don't even hate Scoop Jackson like some people do, but I can tell you this: I did not want to read him pretending to be a basketball for 4,000 words. But I did, because I've done some things in my life that I'm not proud of, and I feel that I need to punish myself every now and then.
At about the 2,000 word mark, I started sobbing to myself, and I began to hate the new basketball. Not because it was an unnecessary change by the NBA, not because it doesn't grip well if it's wet, and not because the players don't like it. I'm not talking about the ball in general. I mean the very basketball that was talking to me in the article. I hated that basketball, and I wanted Bobby Knight to punt it into the stands.
Scoop does reference the nickname given the ball by Yay! Sports, the "Orange Roundie." Of course, he didn't bother to mention the site by name, much less provide a link, which is kind of a sucky thing to do. I'm not sure if that's Scoop's fault or ESPN.com's fault, but it's messed up.
(Update: The guy at 3ManLift.com is not amused by Scoop's "orange roundie" reference, either.)
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
I'm impressed you got to the 2,000 word mark. That entire piece was straight garbage.
Shout out to YaySports! Take your shine, baby.
Only someone like Scoop would even have the idea to write 4,000 words pretending he was a basketball.
Referring to Yay!Sports without explicitly saying so makes it even worse.
MJD, didn't Scoop steal this idea from you? It seems like he is biting your "Letters from Pets" series, although without the hilarity your letters induce. (I am waiting for a letter from Adam Morrison's iguana, by the way.) So in addition to not crediting Yay Sports and 3man, he blatantly copied your conceit. F^ck Scoop.
He does come across as an airhead, which could loosely translate to basketball. First person seems "right on".
I clicked on it while on espn.com because for some reason I actually thought the article was about something else. Absolutel painful read. At the 500 word mark or so I started skimming instead of reading. By 1500 (less than halfway through) I quit.
@Pradamaster: Exactly. Everyone knows that cool people make up videos where the basketball actually talks. And in the videos, he certainly doesn't blather on like some sort of verbal diarrhetic display.