All-Star Saturday Lively Remarks, Part Dunk

To commemorate All-Star Saturday Night, Shoals, Mutoni and Skeets exchanged ideas and opinions in a chat room. Part one is here. The highlights of the Sprite Dunk Contest are as follows:

Skeets: Oh, Mike, what are you wearing? Start the "with leather" jokes, peers.
Mutoni: Kobe's earring can be seen from outer space!

Skeets: Why is Ben Gordon passing the ball?
Shoals: Ugh.
Mutoni: Ty Thomas ain't getting no money tonight!
Skeets: He really should have started with that.

Shoals: Over.
Mutoni: Mmmm...
Shoals: Green's motion is just amazing.
Mutoni: Doc and MJ are haters! They gave him 9's. Ridiculous.

Mutoni: Dwight needs to pull his shorts down. Well, unless he's going through the legs.
Shoals: My girl wants to know why Bobby Flay is courtside.
Skeets: I feel so bad for this rim.

Skeets: And with that, we just said three random things and didn't answer a thing.

Shoals: Eff Nate Robinson.
Mutoni: Nate is so street, though. I love him. His head was at the rim.
Skeets: Throw the net up to 12-feet and Dwight would look like Nate. Yawn...
Shoals: "Any time a little midget does something like that. . ."
Mutoni: The dunk contest is back!!!! (Too soon?)
Skeets: Yes, although that was very Steve Francis-y.

Mutoni: Did Ty Thomas just rip the net?
Skeets: Uh-oh. Paxson will probably fine him for that.

Shoals: That was so beyond everything.
Mutoni: AMAZING. D-Howard is God.
Skeets: I think he'd be mad you said that.
Mutoni: Those scores are [EXTREME EDIT]. That was an all-time great dunk.
Shoals: Yeah, that's hating.

Mutoni: New rule suggestion: The judges need to see the replay before giving out scores.
Skeets: Agreed.
Shoals: Robbed.
Mutoni: These scores have me thoroughly depressed. Dwight Howard should beat the hell out of the judges.

Shoals: That Green dunk was just like a normal alley-oop.
Skeets: Gerald should try to rip the sticker down!
Mutoni: Oh, Green's gonna pump the shoes in tribute to Dee Brown.
Shoals: Okay, that's pretty insane. Eff Nate Ronsinon.

Shoals: I haven't said anything good here.

Mutoni: I'm giddy about Green's second dunk.
Shoals: Is that an Abu Graib hood?

Skeets: Dwight's sticker: "All things through Christ. Phil 4:13."

Mutoni: Green and Howard should face off in the finals.
Shoals: I mean, that was fantastic, but no one has ever put a sticker on the top of the backboard before.
Mutoni: Gerald Green hates gravity like Tim Hardaway hates gays.

Shoals: I'm kind of down on this whole thing now.
Mutoni: Yeah, Howard's dunk is the best of the night.
Shoals: Yet another dunk contest ruined by bad planning. Notice my somber tone.

Shoals: But wait, let's be rational here. Howard is an enormous man. All he really did was reach up real high. Not exactly skilled aerial acrobatics.
Skeets: "Yet another dunk contest ruined by bad planning." Great call, Shoals. So true. I'm pretty sure Dwight had some crazy tricks left up his ... shorts.
Mutoni: Sure, it wasn't "skilled" per se, but it was original and charismatic.
Skeets: Sans ball, Dwight could make change on top of the backboard . . . EASILY.
Mutoni: Oh, without a doubt. Howard's athleticism is off the charts.
Shoals: I have never hated Jordan, Kobe, Dr. J and 'Nique as much as now.
Mutoni: I don't hate the judges; I hate that they don't get to see replays before handing out scores. That makes no sense. You can't appreciate most dunks until you see them in slow-mo. Stupid.

Shoals: Did Nate just concede? More of the same.
Skeets: What is Nate doing?
Mutoni: Two minutes to make a dunk!? Nate is drunk.
Skeets: He's better used as a prop for crying out loud...
Mutoni: True, true.
Shoals: Who cares that he's short?
Mutoni: I'm still upset about Dwight's night.
Shoals: That was really blah.

Mutoni: I don't understand Green's dunk. What did that prove?
Shoals: Whatever, Howard doesn't need this.
Mutoni: Ugh. Shut down the dunk contest forever!
Skeets: I'm tired of all this passing in DUNK contests.

Mutoni: I can't watch this. I'm in physical pain. Nate Robinson: I hate you! Just give the rest of your dunks to Green.
Skeets: Congrats, Nate. You somehow managed to screw up two consecutive dunk contests.
Shoals: "I'm happy for him."

Shoals: Green just jumped over a table. Who cares?
Skeets: *laughing uncontrollably*
Mutoni: How was that a 50?
Shoals: Seriously, isn't that table shorter than Nate?
Skeets: Um, yeah, Gerald? I think your little brother might be the worst video game player ever.
Mutoni: At least a few curse words from Green got through the TNT censors. There's that.
Shoals: I expected a lot more of him. What's less creative than a table?
Mutoni: Nate Robinson.

Shoals: Knock knock.
Skeets: Who's there?
Shoals: A table.
Skeets: A table who?
Shoals: Life is so short.
Mutoni: I need to go drinking. Very heavily.

Skeets: GERALD GREEN JUST WON THE DUNK CONTEST WITH 9.5 FINGERS!