Conspiracy Theory: Why Mike Bibby Wasn't Traded

After a trade deadline boring enough to put coffee to sleep, I feel obligated to get some gossip percolating. Sacramento ended up not trading Mike Bibby, with one possible deal dying because Kings owners Joe and Gavin Maloof curiously refused to talk to the Lakers. They claimed they would have been all torn up about helping their old rivals -- but these guys are usually pretty sharp businessmen, so there had to be something more to it than that.

I'll tell you why they really didn't want to talk to the Lakers. Watch this commercial for the fast food chain Carl's Jr. that features the Maloof brothers:



This ad began airing last fall on October 16th -- three weeks before the election where Sacramento voters were to decide whether to support a new stadium with tax dollars. You're a voter, you're thinking, "Dag, if these billionaire brothers can afford 24-year-old women ... er ... 24-year-old bottles of wine, why should I give them my tax dollars?" Unsurprisingly, the stadium initiative failed. And the Rolex Award for Timing goes to...

Obviously, I'm not the first one to point out that this Bordeaux faux pas came at an unfortunate time. But it turns out it actually wasn't just a dumb mistake on the part of the Maloofs or the campaign managers. Nope, the entire thing was masterminded by the Lakers. Those in L.A. know that the Lakers have been cozy with Carl's Jr. for years. Well, not only did the Lakers plan the timing of the ad's release, but they came up with the entire concept of the commercial. Watch the video again -- that chick pouring the wine is Laker Girl Jenna!

Clearly the Maloof brothers could not bear to negotiate with the Lakers after this devilish prank. And thus, Mike Bibby stays in Sacramento.

(Hat tip: my homies at the Sunnyvale Carl's Jr.)