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NBA

The Debriefing: It's Time to Take the Skirts Off, Suns

Posted May 14, 2007 9:00AM By mjd (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Suns, Spurs, Western, NBA Playoffs

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If Tim Duncan openly laughing at the "physical" nature of your game doesn't hurt your pride, Phoenix Suns, then I don't know what to tell you. A man barely capable of human emotion thinks your masculinity is a joke.

As fantastic as the Warriors/Mavericks opening round series was, Spurs/Suns has a chance to eclipse it. To start with, they're better teams playing a higher level of basketball. More importantly, though, there's that playoff familiarity; the sort of mutual contempt that only builds up through multiple years of playoff competition.

By now, Amare Stoudemire and Tim Duncan are intimately familiar with each others' body odor, chest hair, and dental work. They might respect each other, but they also make each other sick. It's that dislike, that ability to get under an opponent's skin and push them around, that helps make playoff basketball so fantastic.

Unfortunately for the Suns, it's also what's about to send them home early, because they're not nearly as good at it as the Spurs.

There's no doubt about it, the Spurs are in the Suns' kitchen. They're making themselves at home, cooking up breakfast, having waffle fights, spilling the orange juice, and peeing in the silverware drawer just for the hell of it. And the Suns can't stop them.

Which is saying something, because the Spurs aren't even all that physical. One of the reasons the Nuggets played the Spurs so tough in the first round was that they were willing to be the aggressor. Sadly for the Nuggets, it didn't happen to be enough to overcome the Spurs' superior execution and trust of each other, but that's the way it goes sometimes.

The Suns can match the Spurs in basketball execution, cohesion, and ability. But when it comes to any kind of toughness, they're not close.

You've got Mike D'Antoni carrying on at press conferences, sounding like that toupee salesman in Goodfellas who kept nagging Robert DeNiro. You've got Amare Stoudemire bellyaching that Bruce Bowen's playing too dirty. And that's all they're doing, talking. Could I advance the radical notion that if the 6'10", 260-pound Stoudemire doesn't like something that the 6'6", 200-pound Bowen is doing, then Stoudemire is in a position do something about it?

It's not even about Stoudemire's being right or wrong. I'll even grant that he's right. Bowen's a dirty player who does dirty things. Fine. But the question is not what the league's going to do about it, the question is: What are the Phoenix Suns going to do about it?

Imagine Bill Laimbeer whining like that. Imagine Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman, Charles Oakley, or Karl Malone complaining that a 200-pound small forward with almost no offensive game was bullying them.

You know what those guys would do? They'd mess Bruce Bowen up. They'd throw an elbow, a knee, a forearm, whatever they could. There are a million ways you can let a guy know that there are repercussions for things like kicking your Achilles, undercutting you, or kneeing your point guard in the coin purse.

I'm not advocating violence on the court -- actually, wait, that's exactly what I'm doing. But would that be such a bad thing? I'm not saying that Stoudemire should wrap his hands in double-sided tape, and then roll them through broken glass for Game 4, but shouldn't someone do something?

If the Suns need an example of how to get physical with a guy without a suspension, fine or even a foul being incurred ... maybe they could get their hands on some San Antonio Spurs game film. Even better, some Denver Nuggets game film.

They don't even have to go that far. Not letting it bother you can be just as effective as responding in kind. If they turned the other cheek, shrugged it off, and upped the intensity, speed, and execution in their own game, that would be one thing. That would be a response. But it's not happening. They just take it and go, "Hey, I don't like that."

I hope this doesn't shatter any illusions for you, but most great teams have at least one guy that's willing to bend, break, or completely ignore the rules. If you want to call it cheating, fine. But Michael Jordan cheated when he pushed off on Bryon Russell, Rip Hamilton cheated by pushing off and holding jerseys, Dwyane Wade cheated by flopping constantly, and Bill Laimbeer cheated in about 1,000 different ways. All cheaters, all champions.


For the Scrapbook



Kenny G performed live at the Players Championship trophy presentation. Kudos to the people at Sawgrass who booked a musical act every bit as likable and dynamic as the tournament's champion.

Required Viewing



That's Flip Murray giving Kirk Hinrich the Lipton treatment in the second half of yesterday's Bulls/Pistons game. To tell the truth, when I saw Antonio McDyess pass it back, I was pretty sure Flip would find a way to screw the whole thing up. That's the kind of confidence I have in Flip Murray.

That came out of nowhere. Flip did almost manage to negate the whole thing by flexing over Hinrich and flirting with a technical, but come on, it's Flip Murray. He doesn't get a chance to do this often.

Yesterday's MVP

Kirk Hinrich. Since Kirk was portrayed in such a negative way in today's video, despite winning the game, I thought it only fair to feature him here. When the Bulls do well against the Pistons, it's because Hinrich is getting to the rim and breaking down the defense. (It's also because the Pistons let their foot off the gas pedal, but this is about building Kirk Hinrich's self-esteem.)

Yesterday's Sad Sack

Sean O'Hair. On the 17th at Sawgrass yesterday, O'Hair trailed Phil Mickelson by two strokes. He decided to go directly at the pin, which the devious groundskeepers had strategically placed close to the water. O'Hair dunked it.

So he goes to the drop area, and he's still wearing his big boy pants. Again, he goes for the pin, and again, he dunks it. He ended up taking a 7 on the hole, and then bogeyed the 18th, too, pushing himself from 2nd place all the way down to 11th. The significance for Sean O'Hair? $747,025, gone. Sergio Garcia pocketed $450,000 in the process.

The Evening's Agenda

7:00, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Cleveland Cavaliers @ New Jersey Nets.
7:00, ESPN. MLB. Chicago Cubs @ New York Mets.
7:00, VS. NHL Playoffs. Buffalo Sabres @ Ottawa Senators.
8:00, FX. Movie. Dodgeball.
8:00, FOX. House.
8:30, ESPN2. Arena Football. Chicago Rush @ Dallas Desperados.
9:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Phoenix Suns @ San Antonio Spurs.

Tags: The+Debriefing, TheDebriefing

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