The Debriefing: Congrats, Dirk, on Your Regular Season MVP

I'm not going to hammer the choice of Dirk Nowitzki as MVP. By now, Dirk's failings are self-evident. After watching the Mavericks circle the drain against an 8-seed and then seeing four games of Steve Nash and Tim Duncan carrying their teams to an elite level of basketball, there's just not much more to say.

I'm not going to get all sarcastic about Mark Cuban crying at the press conference, either. I thought it was sweet. It was every bit as heartwarming and appropriate as a scoutmaster crying when little Timmy finally breaks though and gets that merit badge for turning his pants into a flotation device.

What I will do, however, is question the entire voting process, particularly the timing of it.

We're talking about a league where teams and players readily admit to using the regular season only as a playoff tune-up. Everyone who doesn't stand to make money based on the amount of games teams play agrees that an 82-game regular season is way, way, way too long. It's so long, in fact, that any player who claims to give 100% during every game is kidding themselves.

So why do we vote on the NBA's most prestigious individual award before the most significant half of the NBA's year? The award ignores everything important, yet it's recognized as the league's most important individual achievement. It's like giving out the Academy Award for best picture based only on the first 40 minutes of every film. It's like deciding the winner of a boxing match based on who taped up their gloves most effectively.

If the aim of the award is to recognize the player who helps his team achieve the best regular season record (and the timing of the voting suggests that it is), then Dirk's your guy.

But shouldn't the title of most valuable go to someone who helped their team at least get close to their expectations?

Again, this is not a knock on Dirk. Do I think he's soft? I do. Do I think he's clutch? I don't. Does any of this mean he didn't play at an MVP level during the regular season? No, of course not.

The Mavericks lost that series against the Warriors for a variety of reasons (among then, a lack of guards who could get Dirk the ball), but the fact of the matter is that they did lose, Dirk was as assertive and powerful as a drunken Hasselhoff, and the team he's supposed to lead fell woefully short of expectations. For the most prestigious award the NBA gives an individual player, these things matter.

There are two ways to deal with this. The first would be to change when writers vote on the award, either to immediately after the conference semifinals, or to immediately after the conference finals.

By then, we'd have a sense of who's bringing what to the table at the truly significant part of the season. Scoring 45 against Milwaukee in October wouldn't have nearly the impact it does now. Scoring 14 points in the 4th quarter of a closeout Game 6 on the road, however, would be a much bigger factor in the minds of voters. As it should be.

At the same time, we'd eliminate or weaken the cases for guys who couldn't get out of the first round. Not that first-round success should be a prerequisite for winning the award, but if a guy can't get his team out of the first round, it should cost him a few points. Whether it's a guy like Kobe, whose team just isn't playing at a level where a playoff series win could even be expected, or it's a guy like Dirk, who just couldn't put his team on his back when they needed it, it's a factor.

The second way to deal with this would be for all of us to just agree that the NBA MVP award doesn't mean a great deal. Put it on par with Miss Congeniality and the Lady Byng, and just forget about it. The way things have gone down, every time I hear "Dirk Nowitzki" and "MVP" in the same sentence, it's going to be hard not to do that.

Required Viewing

Kyler Storm's amazing Football Move - video powered by Metacafe

Listen, I'm as big a fan of Kyler Storm as anyone, but Turbo ... you are an embarrassment to American Gladiators everywhere. "Hey, I bet he's going to run straight into me!" No, Turbo, he isn't. I guess this is why your nickname is "Turbo," instead of "Scholar" or "Literacy."

Big thanks to We Are The Postmen.

For the Scrapbook I

Rasheed Wallace is the god of water ...

For the Scrapbook II

... and of fire. Versatile.

Sticking and Moving

• Ooooh. Tecmo Bowl is making a return, in some form. I'd love it if they hyped it to no end, released it only for the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3, slap a $60 price tag on it ... and you'd take it home, put the disc in the console, and it would be the exact same game. I'm totally serious, that would thrill me.

• Former NBA player Keon Clark, who I once thought would be pretty good ... is not in a good place. Seriously. Not a lot of people are in a worse place than Keon Clark.

• Interesting subject matter here: Kobe might be extremely hostile to the Lakers front office already. I think it's safe to say that we will not see Kobe Bryant, years from now, tearing up on TNT in front of John Thompson because he's "losing, man." He'll burn down the whole damn Staples Center first.

• Here are the aforementioned tears of Mark Cuban. I think that's cool. Really, I do. A little weird, maybe, but cool.

• My man Bethlehem Shoals cannot be forced to enjoy, appreciate, or like the Spurs. Myself, I think it helps to say something out loud in French every time Tony Parker touches the ball.

• I'm at the point where I'm just ready to applaud Pacman Jones. You're going to a hearing about your future employment in the NFL because you got into trouble at a strip club, and the night before ... you go to a strip club. I mean, hey, maybe the guy belongs in prison, but at a certain point, you almost have to begrudgingly applaud his commitment to his love of strip clubs. Maybe his habit is nasty, maybe it's dirty, maybe it's going to cost him his career, but I'll be damned if he doesn't embrace it with all his heart.

Yesterday's MVP

Andrei Kirilenko. Derek Fisher's deserving, too, but I want to talk about that inbounds steal that Kirilenko made at the end of the game. Just an all-around brilliant play. He's got his back to Stephen Jackson, the inbounds passer, to start things off. He's watching the play develop (and, I'm guessing, watching to see if exactly what he thinks is going to happen is going to actually happen) then turning back to face Jackson. He reads what Jack wants to do, then suckers him into throwing the pass Kirilenko wants him to throw. From there, it's all anticipation, reach, and athleticism, snatching the ball out of the air like a bear snatching a salmon out of a stream. Incredible play.

Honorable Mentions: Carlos Zambrano (8 innings, 6 hits, 1 earned run against the Mets), Ben Gordon, bike helmets.

Yesterday's Sad Sack

The person in Utah who decided to play Simply the Best over the loudspeaker after the Jazz won a conference semifinal. I know it's in Utah, where they don't allow music, but come on. That song is lame when it's actually warranted. Beating the Rockets and the Warriors doesn't make you the best. It makes you pretty good, as well as pretty fortunate.

The Evening's Agenda

7:00, MLB. Detroit Tigers @ Boston Red Sox
8:00, TNT. NBA Playoffs. New Jersey Nets @ Cleveland Cavaliers
8:00, CBS. The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular
10:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. San Antonio Spurs @ Phoenix Suns