It's as regular as the seasons. It's as predictable as the Grizzlies not getting the #1 seed. It's strangely comforting, like the rains of spring, only vaguely smelling like alcohol and weapon grease.

That's right.

It's that time of year when NBA players start getting themselves arrested.

We start with San Antonio Spurs and former D-League Austin Toro DerMarr Johnson, AKA Big Slim, who was arrested on May 31st for driving while intoxicated. He failed the breathalyzer and was driving 20 miles over the speed limit, "weaving and following other cars too closely" according to the police. Johnson said after leaving jail that he'd only "had a few cups of wine." Dixie cups, probably. That's some tricky stuff, right there.

Next up is the team soon to be formerly known as the Seattle Supersonics' forward Chris Wilcox. Wilcox was hanging out in his home of North Carolina when he was arrested on two counts of carrying a concealed weapon. One was probably a gun, and the other may or may not have been Earl Watson.

And finally, wrapping up the opening salvo, is Wizards forward Andre Blatche. Blatche was busted yesterday in south-central Virginia on charges of reckless driving and driving on a suspended license ... for the third time. He was clocked in at 86 miles an hour in a 70 mile an hour zone. Apparently in Virginia, the law is that anyone driving more than 80 can be tagged with reckless driving. Most impressive is that Blatche, after all his vehicular troubles, still thinks it's a good idea to go for a ride.

Guys, seriously. You're NBA players. If you're not spending your money on paying someone else to drive recklessly for you or carry your guns, what are you spending your money on? Oh. Cars to drive recklessly in, and guns. Right. Sorry.