The Kings: Bad at Not Getting in Trouble

Kings center Brad Miller has been suspended for five games next season for violations of the league's anti-drug policy. Translated into reality-speak: Kings redneck Brad Miller has been suspended five games because he can't say 'no' to Mary Jane.

The five-game suspension is a well-known, poorly-hid mask for "third marijuana violation" in NBA fan circles. That NBA players smoke weed is no secret. Some, like Josh Howard, are able to do so without getting pinched by a league urine test. Others, like David Harrison and Miller, don't learn their lesson and pay the price with public humiliation and a loss of five paychecks.

As a Kings fan, my personal anger over this is mostly limited to the fact this seems to happen to the Kings every year. Last season, Ron Artest was suspended for the first seven games of the season because of a domestic violence arrest. The season prior, the freaking coach, Eric Musselman, got pinched for a DUI during preseason. Feel free to add some Mo Taylor, Keon Clark, Chris Webber, and Vlade Divac's knock-off purses for good measure. Good grief, it's Sacramento! Calm down, NBA players!

In other NBA police blotter news, nominal Bull JamesOn Curry got hit with a one-game suspension for urinating on the streets of Beautiful Boise, Idaho. Pee in a cup, pee on pavement: you just can't win these days.