Who Injures Themselves on a Moped? Honestly? Answer? Monta Ellis

So to recap: explosive guard, devastating transition weapon, millionaire franchise player.

Moped enthusiast.

When the truth came out that Monta Ellis was injured in a non-basketball activity. We all had our guesses. ATV accident was mine. But then, I went to Missouri and am just used to guards getting hurt on ATVs. But nowhere did I hear the word moped bandied about. I mean, really. Who gets injured on a moped, let alone gets injured on a moped after signing a $66 million extension?

Monta Ellis, of course.

The origin of his torn deltoid and high-ankle sprain came out today in a report by the San Francisco Chronicle, which termed it a "low-speed accident." Well thank God for that. If Ellis had really ramped that baby up, just imagine what could have happened. I'm also curious as to how he managed to sustain an accident at "low-speed" on a moped. Don't you essentially have to run it directly into something? Did a turtle jump out in front of it? Isn't Monta supposed to be, you know, light on his feet?

Here's my other question. Apparently "low-speed moped riding" is a prohibited activity on his contract. Who came up with that? Who was sitting around and went, "You know? Those mopeds really are a danger to society. We better make sure Monta doesn't go doing backflips on one." What other modes of transportation are prohibited? Segways? Scooters? Hoverboards from Back to the Future, Part II?

There's a lot of speculation that the Warriors are going to let Monta slide on this. Judging by how much mockery he's likely to sustain from the guys in the locker room (Stephen Jackson gets in bar fights at strip clubs, Monta Ellis gets injured on a moped), it might not be a bad idea. Between the pain, the embarrassment from the injury, from being caught, and the harassment he's likely to sustain from the guys and media, the kid's probably learned his lesson.

He's not the first 22 year old to do something dumb on a moped and get injured. He is probably the first one to do it after signing a 6 year, $66 million extension. But unless the injury has serious repercussions on his career or his ability to contribute to the Warriors, there's no reason to make a bigger deal out of it than it was.

Yes, lying about it was foolish. But seriously. If you had to tell your employer you couldn't work because you injured yourself in a moped accident, wouldn't you fib a little?

A moped? Seriously? Seriously.