In a story that was custom built for some old-school sports blogging, Barkley reportedly told police that he was driving drunk because he was seeking to score some fellatio from a young lady.
According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."But wait! There's more! According to the report, Barkley not only was looking for oral sex, but he also had a handgun, which has somehow become the least discussed portion of this story.
The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."
And, in simply amazing Tommy Boy fashion, Barkley allegedly extended the offer to "tattoo my name on your ass" towards a civilian police employee at the police station if he could sneak out of the DUI, which he quickly (I suppose) corrected. In other words, yes, this should do wonders for his 2014 gubernatorial run.
Life of Sir Charles' Barkley
Retired NBA star Charles Barkley's career has been chock-full of colorful moments. Click through to see more classic "Sir Charles" memories.
NBA/Getty Images
Barkley recently said that NBA superstar LeBron James, left, should just "shut the hell up" about possible free agency options in 2010. James responded, "He's stupid. That's all I've got to say about that."
Getty Images
To one lucky student, "Sir Charles" was more like "Saint Charles." During a visit to an Italian restaurant last summer, Barkley struck up a friendship with a 28-year-old busboy named Christian Abate and offered to pay his tuition so he could finish college. "He's a nice kid," Barkley said. "He was working with kids, I loved that he wanted to be a teacher, and I wanted to help him."
Ethan Miller, Getty Images
Politics? Why not? Barkley told CNN in October he plans to run for Governor of Alabama in 2014. Asked if he was serious, Barkley responded, "I am, I can't screw up Alabama."
Nathaniel S. Butler, NBAE via Getty Images
On the court, Barkley was frequently fined for fights with other players. In 1990, Barkley and Bill Laimbeer were each fined $20,000 (a record amount for the NBA at the time) for a fracas during a playoff game.
Nathaniel S. Butler, NBAE via Getty Images
While Barkley was beloved by fans, he gained fame for his anti-role model stance. "A million guys can dunk a basketball in jail; should they be role models?" Barkley said in 1993, which launched his famous "I am not a role model" Nike ad campaign.
Andrew D. Bernstein, NBAE/Getty Images
As a player, the fiery Barkley had a few run-ins with the law. He was once arrested for breaking a man's nose during a fight after a game with the Bucks, and he once famously threw a man through a plate-glass window after being hit with a glass of ice at a bar.
Orange County Sheriff's Office / AP
After retiring as a player, Barkley joined TNT's 'Inside the NBA,' where he has become the "butt" of many a joke. Literally. In one skit, Barkley was forced to kiss a donkey's posterior after losing a bet with Kenny Smith.
YouTube
During the 2007 All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas, Barkley took part in a memorable foot race against 67-year-old referee Dick Bavetta. Barkley won the race, while Bavetta dove at the finish line and wound up bloodying his knee.
Nathaniel S. Butler, NBAE/Getty Images
In May, Barkley made headlines after a Las Vegas district attorney said he could face criminal charges if he didn't repay a $400,000 debt owed to the Wynn casino. Sir Charles has since repaid the debt and stated he will quit gambling in the future.
Ethan Miller, Getty Images
Comments (Page 1 of 8)
barkley has stated in interviews in the past that he keeps a gun in his car for protection. i heard it on a clip from a radio show on a daily dime on espn.com. they asked him about that football player that shot himself and he said he recommends athletes have them for protection, but to keep them on your person, especially in a club is stupid.
Best BJ ever, and she was hot? Gotta let it slide. Especially if you can get your name tattooed on his ass. Sounds like a hell of a deal.
YOu need to reread the article. He offered to tattoo His name on the officers a..
The pro was probably a drag queen. LMAO.
i would have busted him for even implying he would put my name on his ugly fat ass.
Alabama needs this guy as their governor. He will fit right in.
EXCUUUUSE me BOB?????? Would you mind explaining your comment and may I ask where you live? I think that was a little uncalled for
You are ignorant!!
Dear Bob
you must be an idiot. alabama does not need this guy for gov.
you like him you elect him for your state
Another role model from the world of sports.
You watch what I am going to say and see if this does not turn out this way.
Charles Barkley is one of the biggest racist on television, on any show. Everything he says is about race.
Somewhere down the line, this will turn into a racial issue with him. I will go as far as to say, he will eventually turn this thing into him being a target by the "white police" behind this matter.
I could go on and on about his racial issues, but I think EVERYONE knows what I am saying is the absolute truth.
You are absolutly 100% without a doubt CORRECT!!!!!
Jerry, you are 100% correct. The "RACE CARD" is played every time!
Jerry, TNT(NBA channel) should fire him for this. Lets see if they have the guts to fire him. If they do, the NAACP will be on them within minutes!!
I think we all knew how big of a raceist Sir Charles was when he spat in the face of a white guy at a BB game. I lost all respect for him after that even if he had spat in the face of a black man.
Yes Sir
The "Race Card" as so many of you like to imply is not something you PLAY. It is something you LIVE every single day you are BLACK. If you are other than black you cannot understand this and so you say "Playing the Race Card" as if were a game of poker. Charles speaks so often on it because HE LIVES IT TOO and understands it. The problem is the truth he speaks of offends Americans, white Americans in particular. I am tired of skating around racial controveries or issues just so as not to offend anyone and why should Charles. We didn't create this racial "Issue", we just have to live with. And you want us to be quiet? People PLEAZE!!!!! You can only stop talking and living an issue when it is no longer an issue and race in America is the dirty stain on this countries moral fiber and UNTIL white America really wants to deal with it, it will not go away and I pray that people like Charles and Barack Obama and John Legend and Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby with a platform CONTINUE to speak out. We don't need anymore Michael "passive" Jordans out front anymore or rappers and singers likelike 50 Cents and Beyonce and Puff Daddy-who all have sold out for the dollar. They see the injustices but because they entertain whtie america and make enough money they are afraid to speak up for fear White America won't like them anymore.
Now, as for the "deed" Charles was arrested for, I can't defend that. Prostitution is illegal and so is drunk driving and all I can say is that I hope he receives fair treatment and a fair sentence if it comes to that. However, being WHO he is and SAYING WHAT he says I doubt any of it will be fair. NOt the media coverage, certainly not the court of public opinion and probably not the court systems as we have seen throughout the years. Michael Vick and OJ have been put away and so now the "so called" righteous ones need a "new one" to go after and unfortunately for Barkley, has given them the ammunition and the fodder they needed to go after him now. This is what dissappoints me about Charles. He should KNOW there is a mark on the back of any rich, political astute, vocal black man in America his back. The establishment knows he might make a run at being Alabama govenor's office and so "THEY" are going to watch and follow Charles day and night until he gives them some like he has. That's one, no two burrs under his saddle when and if he ever runs. As smart as Barkley obviously is, he's also not as smart as he needs to be to understand the establishment. A bit ironic too.
In spite of the charge(s), Charles Barkely tells the truth and I enjoy hearing the issues discussed without sugar coating and brown-noseing. And no amount of DUIs or Sex for money can dismiss the racial truths and issues he speaks of. The DUIs and Blow jobs may be ALL the Barkley haters CHOOSE to discuss because to discuss the racial issues he points out stings to bad. But I understand. This is America in all of its glorious hypocrisy.
Good Luck Charles. You are gonna need it with this crew!
BARKLEY IS A JERK !
Unfortunatly, like Jerry said, he'll get off for some BS "reason" or another.
And to show just how DUMB he is, he should be in Chicago with those other "RAT-EFF'S" fighting to be the state senator.
hes always been a big mouth idiot
Sir Charles went looking for a BJ and ended up getting F*****.