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I can't tell you which team will win the NBA title. I can tell you which team you should want to win.It's Orlando. And by the time they finish reading this, even Lakers fans will agree.
Yes, I am delusional.
Jeannie Buss will dump Phil Jackson for Stan Van Gundy before L.A. fans see the light. This is for people who need a favorite just to make the Finals more interesting.
If you listen to the experts, the Lakers are favorites. If you listen to your heart, it should hear the Magic calling.
Reason No. 1 -- It would be one small step for Stan, one giant leap for Stan-kind.
Van Gundy is Everyman. A schlump who gets almost no respect.
Jackson probably spends more on a haircut than Van Gundy has spent on his entire wardrobe. In 193 games with Orlando, Van Gundy has worn a tie approximately one time.
He just wants to coach, someone who cares more about winning than kissing up. That's why Shaquille O'Neal doesn't like him and Dwight Howard does.
"He is a great motivator," Howard said. "Even when he is yelling and screaming, throughout all that he finds a way to put in just an ounce of something to get us fired up."
It ain't Zen, but the regular guy must be doing something right.
Reason No. 2 -- Shaq will eat his words.
O'Neal will hate it if Kobe Bryant wins a ring without him. He'll hate it if the coach he called the Master of Panic wins anything.
At least there's evidence Bryant's ego contributed to his falling out with O'Neal. The only thing Van Gundy ever did was poke a little fun at O'Neal for flopping against Dwight Howard.
Now Shaq says his clash with Bryant was "all marketing." If the Master of Panic wins, how will the Big Sensitive explain that one?
Reason No. 3 -- If the Lakers win the Zen Master will pass Red Auerbach and get his 10th championship ring. Despite what you may heard from Boston and L.A. fans, there's no way to determine who was really the better coach and the records should reflect that.
Note: Dating a woman who posed in Playboy does not count as the tiebreaker.
Reason No. 4 -- The Lamar Odom Diet could destroy youth.
If Odom plays well, the Lakers will win and every kid can tell their parents they need to eat a plate of Starburst jelly beans for breakfast.
Reason No. 5 -- Famous words from Draft Night 2004.
The great debate was whether Orlando should take Howard or Emeka Okafor.
"In 10 years, man, the Magic are going to regret not taking Mr. Okafor." -- Dick Vitale.
"The Orlando Magic cannot play a guessing game. Emeka Okafor is the man. He's the answer." -- Stephen A. Smith.
A Magic win would reinforce how Vitale is too much a shill for college basketball and Smith is too much a shill for himself. Not that either needed much reinforcing.
Latest NBA Playoff Photos
Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum takes part in practice in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic starting Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers center DJ Mbenga practices in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic starting Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers' guard Derek Fisher smiles during practice in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers forward Paul Gasol, of Spain, is seen after practice in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom towels off during practice in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic starting Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson takes questions during a news conference in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Los Angeles Lakers' Kobe Bryant takes questions from the media after practice in El Segundo, Calif., on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. The Lakers will face the Orlando Magic starting Thursday in the NBA basketball finals. (AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes)
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Orlando Magic forward Hedo Turkoglu, of Turkey, leaves the teams basketball practice facility after a team meeting in Orlando, Fla., Monday, June 1, 2009. The Magic will face the Los Angeles Lakers Thursday in the NBA Finals. (AP Photo/John Raoux)
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Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard thinks a moment before answering a reporter's question at the team basketball practice facility after a team meeting in Orlando, Fla., Monday, June 1, 2009. The Magic will face the Los Angeles Lakers starting Thursday in the NBA finals. (AP Photo/John Raoux)
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Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy answers questions after a team meeting at their practice facility in Orlando, Fla., Monday, June 1, 2009. The Magic will face the Los Angeles Lakers Thursday in the NBA Finals. (AP Photo/John Raoux)
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Reason No. 6 -- Rafer Alston.
Playground legends are supposed to be fundamentally flawed gunners. Even though he's tamed his act, a victory for Alston would be a victory for every kid who ever tried to dribble between his opponent's legs.
Reason No. 7 -- Dwight Howard has no tattoos.
Reason No. 8 -- The Polish people need it.
Orlando's backup center Marcin Gortat reports that the sports atmosphere is changing in his hometown of Lodz, Poland.
"You can see people wearing Magic jerseys in the streets now. And in the bars, instead of just soccer they are starting to put on NBA basketball," Gortat said.
Anything that loosens soccer's maniacal grip over Europe must be supported.
Reason No. 9 -- President Obama's prediction.
"The Lakers in six," he said.
I really can't argue with that. I just know that the mere fact Obama likes the Lakers is reason enough for every Republican to pull for Orlando.
Reason No. 10 -- Orlando needs it more.
Whatever happens, L.A. will still have culture, celebrities, the Dodgers, Rodeo Drive and Salma Hayek.
Orlando will have mosquitoes and no state income tax.
The city has never quite gotten over O'Neal jilting it 13 years ago for the bright lights of Hollywood . In that spirit, imagine the NBA Finals as a movie.
Wouldn't it be nice if just once the schlump got the girl?
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
I would love to see Magic win it all, everybody loves Mickey and Goofy and Pluto and the rest of the gang. How could anyone have anything negative to say about the Orlando Magic, Disney World is the happiest place on earth, Lakers in 6 maybe 7
THE MAGIC WILL WIN AND MAYBE THEN THEY WILL GET THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE. WE HAVE A GREAT TEAM AND ALL THE PLAYERS ARE ABOUT PLAYING THE GAME WELL AND GETTING IT DONE WITHOUT ALL THE FLOPPING AND TOO PLAYERS THAT TAKE TO MANY STEPS. THE SPORTS COMMENTATERS AND MEDIA ALWAYS FOR THE OTHER TEAM THAT OLANDO IS PLAYING. MAYBE NEXT YEAR THE TEAM WILL GET THE RECOGNITION THEY DESERVE. GO MAGIC GO MAGIC AND GO MAGIC YOU ARE THE CHAMPIONS. LOVE THE MAGIC
worst article...ever!!! still a laker fan, still pulling for them. by the way the reason why stan doesn't wear ties isn't because he's cheap, same reason chuck doesn't wear ties. they're fat. and as SVG has said, "i dont wear them, cuz they dont work for me...i just dont look good in them"
big people in general dont look good in ties and jackets.
Reasons for the Lakers to win:
1. I can't stand coaches who rant and rave. Maybe it's because I grew up in the John Wooden and Tom Landry era, but I've always preferred coaches who keep their cool while under pressure.
2. Don't like Superman impostors anymore than Elvis impostors. Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a game, and averaged over 50 points a game for an entire season. (We won't even talk about his alleged virility.) Yet, despite these accomplishments, he never claimed to be Superman. Clearly, people who have accomplished much less, should refrain from such comparisons as well.
3. D.J. Mbenga is the coolest player since Manute Bol.
4. Don't think that Bynum or Gasol have tattoos.
5. Stan Van Gundy has a nut for a brother. Will always remember him being dragged around the court while hanging onto the leg of one of his players.
6. Southern California had the original Disneyland. Orlando is just a copy cat.
7. Humidity, alligators and giant bugs. Why would people want to live there.
OMG!!!I can't believe this dumb article convinced me to drop 30 years of Lakers worship and root for the Magic...Yeah whatever, they even took their name from one of the greatest Lakers ever.
Lakers 4 Life...I'm gonna print out this article and wipe my a** with it.
granted I am a Laker fan.. but I was expecting this article to be a lot more convincing. yawn.
Too funny! I had to LOL.
LMAO! @Lakergregg LAKERS B***H!!
Lakers suck, couldn't beat a bunch of old farts last year, and won't beat a bunch of young farts this year!
Geez, so much hostility over a little article (one meant for purely fun, obviously). If you want to be serious for a moment, I think the reason America should be rooting for the Magic is simply because they deserve it more than the Lakers or any other team in the NBA. I'm not saying the Lakers didn't go through a lot of hardships to get to where they are, but if you can name any team that's gone through more b.s. calls, more game winning shots (from the opponent), more doubt from the league and the world, and more insults than a fat bastard on a blog (no offense to any of you that may be on here
NO ONE DESERVES to win the ring...it is earned period...deserving is a word that accompanies "entitlement" as if by some action in the past someone SHOULD NOW be awarded something... this is a present time game...each set of actions EARNS the win or it doesn't. The team who wins 4 GETS it period, regardless of the past triumphs and tribulations, successes and failures, perceptions by fans, the media, whatever, whether or not someone is republican or democrat, Christian or not (I can't see 'God" backing one team over another to be determined by how many christians on the team, or how devout they are)...It comes down to this...you have more points at the end of the game, and do that 4 times,you get the ring...the rest is fabrication, fantasy, projection of fans needs onto the players...making meaning where there isn't...
While it's true that Van Gundy is a compelling story, He's much funnier after a few losses than a few wins. I used to have a fat boss who screamed, and it makes me nostalgic. I almost tear up with the fond memories. However, the dreaded Lakers will most likely prevail.
Half the Lakers, Including Kobe should be in jail.
They are a bunch of thugs. Although Red Waltons
Ferry son is a church mouse. Magic Johnson almost
creamed his pants talking about Kobe in the pregame. No wonder he had the AIDs virus. Screw the Lakers and Phil Jackson.
The Lakers are clearly the better team! They were here last year only to lose to the team that wanted it more! And yet the Western Conference is once again represented by the real team out of LA. Van Gundy is not an 'everyman' as the numb-nut author of this article states. Shaq has already stated to ESPN that he wants to see Kobe win #4. Of course, the media wants to drag out the 'drama' between Kobe n' Shaq 'til the end of time. Go ahead and do so media darlings!! Live in the past, where you truly belong. Lakers in 6, ( and thats giving O-town a chance)!
Well, thanks for ruining the entire reason we blog, Michael. Thumbs up ;D
Go Magic!!
Glad to see you're still delusional, David. Still think the Magic should win after games 1 & 2? But I have to say this: I don't care how many rings that coach has--no one team has EVER dominated the league like the Celtics in the 50s and 60s. THAT is what a dynasty is. Not these measly little 3 or 4 peats we get these days. Red Auerbach is a legend. Don't think whoever the LA coach is these days is quite in the same class.
Even though Arnold Auerbach had Hall of Famers Ed McCauley, (the
rights to Cliff Hagan who was in the military `53, after the Korean
War ended, to `56,) Bill Sharman, Bob Cousy, in `55 - `56, it wasn`t
until he traded Hagan and McCauley for Bill Russell and drafted Tom
Heinsohn Auerbach won his first championship. Adding Russell`s
defense and rebounding, and Heinsohn`s scoring and rebounding, to the
defense and rebounding of Jungle Jim Loscutoff, 7 time champion (drafted with the pick Auerbach WANTED to use to get Wilt Chamberlain, straight out of high school, but there was little money in the NBA in those days, so Wilt mistakenly went to Kansas U., instead, the year BEFORE the Celtics traded for Russell), but
not in the Hall of Fame, and the offense of Sharman and Cousy made
Arnie a winner. Later, "Satch" Sanders, 8 time champion, but not in
the Hall of Fame helped to continue Boston`s winning off of its
defense speeding up its offense. As for flatie but cutie Jeannie
Buss, I thought her posing for Playboy was supposed to mean she was
HOT, not the Lakers are cool. I wouldn`t stay cool with a hot chick,
I`d get warm. To each their own. Speaking of which, has Earvin been
cheating on Isaiah and Mark with Kobe? Guess that clarifies the real
gender of those 1,000 sex partners alleged in his book. Wonder who
fathered his wife`s children while he was busy commiting adultery
against her (get well, Earvin, you played during the games on court
the way the game SHOULD be played). Actually, it is northern
Florida, Gainesville, which has the human Gators, and Miami which has
the reptiles. The giants bugs are in New Orleans, the Hornets, and
the littlest Hornet plays the best, Chris Paul. A shame he had to
be left out of first string all pro for Dirk Nowitzski, but the team
did need some size (maybe Yao or Duncan would have been better for
that, Dirk plays a bit like a wing guard). It is Hawaii above the
waves, and supposed to be Mu and LeMUria below the waves out west,
Atlantis was thought, duh, in the Atlantic, not the Pacific. I hope
Orange county and its environs wins (both teams meet that criteria!). But may the best TEAM win.
Have a nice day!
Looks like Obama knew what he was talking about. And you posted your typical idiotic blog Whitley. Do you ever blog without taking shots at athletes?