So someone nabbed Baron Davis' laptop. Unfortunate. If my laptop got nabbed, I'm pretty sure I'd be melted into a small puddle, huddled in the fetal position in a corner somewhere screaming to God above for answers as to why he has forsaken me. You know, in a really manly way. Boom Dizzle, on the other hand, opted to have his lawyers notify media outlets not to report on the contents of the laptop were it to appear suddenly in their midst (for several thousand dollars), according to the Smoking Gun.
Clearly, Baron Davis doesn't want anyone revealing his collection of... basketball videos.
Well, I want to speak directly to Baron right now. Baron, this is coming from one dude to another. It's okay. It's no big deal that you have a lot of basketball videos on your laptop. No one is going to judge you. It's perfectly normal for a dude such as yourself to have basketball videos. Even with the millions and millions of dollars, plethora of ... basketball courts in the greater L.A. metropolitan area, and the availability of ... players who will play basketball for money, it's totally not a big deal.
I mean, unless you're into some really weird basketball. Like, if your hard drive is filled to the brim with Charlie Villanueva playing one-on-one with Manute Bol, no one will care. For it to be any sort of news story, you'd have to have several compressed volumes of basketball videos of D-League playoff games and NBL preseason exhibitions. It would have to be some pretty freaky basketball for anyone to blink an eye.
I can understand the concern, Boom. After all, you've watched as people consistently rip other people's weaknesses apart this week with no consideration for the damage that exacerbating a bad situation could cause. But I can tell you, every guy watches basketball videos. And millions of girls also think that basketball videos are fun. It's not like you play basketball in Omaha, Nebraska. There's an adult acceptance that people make and like basketball videos.
So whatever you're afraid of, Baron, don't be. You should own it. You should stand up there if the day comes and say "My name is Baron Davis and I enjoy basketball videos."
And hey, it's totally likely that someone will just return your laptop or that the police will find it. Totally. Although, if you're looking for a suspect, I would find out if Zach Randolph was around. You know, what with how seriously the Grizzlies are thinking about contending this year, he may have wanted your basketball videos. Intense competitor that he is.
