On Tuesday, some comments Brendan Haywood made about Stephon Marbury and perceived homosexual behavior in Marbury's lifestreaming escapades came to light. In short, Haywood said that because Marbury got a shirtless massage from a male friend and danced to a disco song on video, no NBA player would want to share a locker room with him. Because, you know, he might be gay. Kelly Dwyer and Kevin Arnovitz have both responded in exemplary fashion -- read those reactions if you care at all about the issue.Haywood has since posted what he dubs an apology on Yardbarker. As an avowed fan of the newly unfiltered relationship between athletes and fans, I'm encouraged that Haywood knew enough to know he needed to apologize. But in that apology, Haywood invokes the name Tim Hardaway (as in, "I wasn't trying to come off like Tim Hardaway") and offers up ye old "if it doesn't affect me, I don't really care" response to the very existence of homosexuality.
In other words, Haywood notifies us that he will continue to be a part of the problem.
In his initial rant, Haywood said that it felt like watching "gay porn" to see Marbury get a massage from his bro. He said -- this is a quote -- "there's no way any other professional athletes would wanna get dressed around this guy, because you gotta think something is a little, he's swinging from both sides of the fence."
That kind of talk and the "I don't care one way or another" bit don't match up. You do care, Brendan. You're a professional athlete, and you're saying you don't want to get dressed next to a guy who might be bisexual or gay.
You're entitled to have whatever internal fears you want. No one can put you on trial for getting nervous around a gay man, just as no one can prosecute a white woman who clutches her purse tightly when passing you on the street. Both fears are ignorant and accessory to a perpetual, destructive existence of fear of The Other. But they are your own fears.
The problem is when you transform those fears into public opinions. And when you spout those wrong and ignorant opinions unprovoked in a broadcast conversation, and attach said opinions to the whole of the professional athlete fraternity, you forfeit your right to be indignant regarding negative reactions to your private, personal fears, since you have made those a topic of public discourse. You cannot make a homophobic comment and days later distance yourself from it by saying you have no problem with gay people. It's the logical equivalent of "Some of my best friends are black!"
And that's exactly how Haywood comes across in his apology: indignant. "I wasn't trying to come off like Tim Hardaway." Clearly, Brendan Haywood learned nothing from Tim Hardaway. That, uh, you know, gay people are people, too, and they are not going to sexually assault you in the locker room. Is it really that hard to understand?
(Don't answer that.)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-18-2009 @ 4:22PM
jonathan said...
Ziller, when you compare homosexuality to race you come off more ignorant than haywood. You can't compare sexual behavior to a benign catagory like race and gender.
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8-18-2009 @ 4:31PM
RMJ=H said...
"I don’t support or condemn homosexuality and I believe in everyone making choices for themselves."
Congrats on choosing to be heterosexual Brandon! WE WERE VERY WORRIED!
What an ignorant punk he turned out to be. Really, the apology is worse than the original statements.
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8-18-2009 @ 4:38PM
phzsicks said...
Don't the teams have personal trainers that massage on them and that 99.8% male in their locker room. I guess, that would make you gay, Brendan.
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8-19-2009 @ 9:48PM
nate said...
One of the sad moments that continues to this day. Arnovitz had a great closing comment on his post. I don't expect anything better, but that's because I know better. As Dwyer said, in 2009 we should expect better.
And, Jonathan, where was race compared to sexual orientation? (Other than the judgment based on race/sexual orientation is ignorant.) Oh, it wasn't.
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8-18-2009 @ 6:54PM
Giles said...
The article DID equate race with sex orientation, it said "The is the equivalent of saying some of my best friends are black". But it is NOT equivalent. Homo/bi deviancy is now legal, but it is still misbehavior, a choice of what inclinations to act upon, not simple existinence. Haywood is probably a closet gay to bother bringing up the subject, but that is his business. If he is homophobic, it is probably fear of guilt by association. And it seems hypocritical of him to apologize. He has a right to be anti gay, or pretend he is, isn`t like he`s in a policy making position where being a hypocrite would lead to bad policies. Tim Hardaway criticized Don Ameche who after he was done with the nba claimed he was gay. Still the only one in NBA history man enough to admit HE was gay, not the other guy. Hardaway`s coach, Pat Riley, kissed Alonzo Mourning on tv, so Riley is gay. Jason Kidd was the Net the Post was implying was gay, not Jefferson. He kissed his own under puberty son and tv (and beat his wife). O`Neal kissed his own under puberty son on tv while he was playing under Riley. Which underscores why he knew the Sacramento Kings were Queens. Earvin Johnson kissed Mark Aguire and Isaiah, so are you getting in the truck?, Thomas, on tv, while he played for Riley. Doug Collins kissed Terry Mills and Mike Jordan on tv while they played for him. Mills left for Miami, but got no playing time under gay Riley and was forced back to Detroit. Coach Brown in Cleveland kissed LeBron James on tv. Lots of public figures are gay. Usually, they bash they other guy for being gay. Jerry Lewis and Larry King kissed an under puberty boy on tv. But the media berates Lewis for making anti gay jokes, not for sexually assaulting an under puberty boy, on tv, and getting away with it. I would not want to work under a person who kisses his employees in private, much less public. Afraid of abuse of power, even if the boss were a good looking woman, not a gay man. As for teammates. O`Neal and Johnson may be two of the top dozen basketball players so far. I can understand if someone wouldn`t want to hang out with them away from the court, that would be their business, but I`d have been glad at their peak to have had them in MY locker room, if I`d had one. I`m straight. Anyone who doesn`t like that can flush themselves. I resent public misbehavior, and disagree with private misbehavior, the difference being public misbehavior IS my business, because it is public, private misbehavior is NOT my business, unless it is MY misbehavior. Which, of course, never happens. () :-) I`g much rather discuss whether Marbury OR Haywood can help a team than whether they are gay.
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8-19-2009 @ 12:49AM
liberatedamind00 said...
This is non sense. Since, when should a man have to feel comfortable with a man who chooses the homosexual life style? I am not saying discriminate, call them names and beat them up. But, why should any man have share showers with and change in front of an openly confessed, homosexual. This is non sense.
Think about this:
Should a heterosexual married or single woman be made to feel comfortable changing or showering with a group of heterosexual men? Should lesbian women be made to shower with a group of men and be comfortable with it? Or should they change in front of them and be made to feel o.k.?
Or should heterosexual men be made to feel comfortable showering with heterosexual married females or single females? Should heterosexual men be made to shower with a group of lesbians and be comfortable with it? Or should they change in front them and be made to feel comfortable?
Do heterosexual men or women not get bothered by showering with people of the opposite sex? Or do men not have a tendency to fantasize about to lesbian women, who don't like them?
?????
In the majority of homosexual relationships one person takes on either the male or female role.
Do men not fantasize about women? Do women not fantasize about men?
Do homosexual people not fantasize about people of the same gender?
Do we force heterosexual or homosexual females to feel, except or tolerate heterosexual men, sharing the shower with them, sharing a hotel room with them or change along side them??????
So, why are we trying to force heterosexual men to be comfortable with other homosexual men in the same capacity?
Then, if some says something like a professional athletes or any other person, they call you homophobic. ??
Are gay men and women doctors of the locker rooms?
Tell me if a lesbian or heterosexual woman doesn't feel comfortable or except the same conditions, are they HETEROPHOBIC? Are You? Are We all HETEROPHOBIC?
Think about it and speak up.
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8-19-2009 @ 11:40AM
lovenik said...
These diatribes are literally inept, uses bad grammar, contextually inefficient and at best, uninformed. Who gives a crap about Brenda(n) Haywood? He sucks at basketball, never getting what an average 7-footer gets out of basketball. Oh, I forgot....he DOES get a paycheck. If he weren't 7" tall, would we even hear from him? F--- him!!!!!!
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8-19-2009 @ 1:58PM
Kelly said...
I totally understand where Haywood is coming from. I'm white, and I feel the same way about black people. I don't support them or condemn them. I really don't care what they do or what happens to them, as long it doesn't affect me, especially if they stay out of my house, gym showers, and neighborhood. But that doesn't make me a racisit...or does it? Very courageous, Mr. Haywood. You're quite the role model and star citizen.
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8-20-2009 @ 2:20AM
JayQuo said...
It's ignorant to not want to be naked around a gay man? Are you ****ing kidding me? I wouldn't want a gay teammate in the locker room for the same reason I wouldn't want girls in the locker room when I'm changing. I'm fully aware they wouldn't try to make it sexual, but that doesn't change that it's not comfortable because you know what they're attracted to.
Political correctness has gotten so incredibly over the top.. unbelievable
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8-22-2009 @ 10:45AM
chrisyopherck30 said...
IT IS CLEAR THAT HOMOS NEED TO SIT DOWN GO BACK IN THE CLOSET AND SHUT THE HELL UP.NOONE WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT ABOUT THAT NASTY MESS.IT IS DISGUSTING DEGRADING AND JUST DOWN RIGHT SICK PITIFUL FOR ANYONE TO DO SOMETHING SO NASTY AS TO SLEEP WITH THE SAME SEX.HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SICKNESS AND IT IS REPULSIVE,AN THAT AMERICA IS SO TOLERANT OF GAY BEHAVIOR IF YOUR GAY BE GAY DONT TELL THE WHOLE WORLD DONT MARCH IN A PARADE WITH MAKE UP AND WOMENS CLOTHING.IF YOU ARE A MAN BE A MAN IF YOU ARE A WOMAN BE WOMAN.KEEP THAT NASTY MESS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.IT IS CAUSING SO MUCH OF THE ILLNESSES THAT WE HAVE TODAY ALONG WITH PORNAGRAPHY.
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