New Jersey Nets Renting Out Players to Birthday Parties for $25K

Thinking back on my childhood, the one thing I really, really, really wanted on my birthday was for someone to remember it. But after that, easily the No. 2 option was having a famous athlete swing by my party and act like he was thrilled to be dealing with tons of children on a random Wednesday in the middle of the season.

Fortunately, for some child who has insanely rich parents, that dream will possibly come true one day, in the form of a barely recognizable by most kids famous member of the New Jersey Nets. That's right -- the Nets are so desperate for ticket sales that they're making player appearances value adds to those low priced ($25,000) 10-game ticket packages.

From the AP:

For $25,000, the Nets are offering four courtside tickets for 10 games, parking, access to a private lounge at the Izod Center with free food and beverages and something more - a one-hour appearance by a Nets player of your choice at your home, office, school or party.

"It will be interesting to have an NBA player come to your birthday party or come to your bar mitzvah or even just coming to your house for dinner for an hour when your friends are over," Nets chief executive Brett Yormark said. "That's a terrific thing and it's tough to put a price tag on it."

But hey, I wouldn't be an intrepid blogger if I didn't at least try to put a price on it, right?

Alright, let's go then: assuming that a Nets' courtside ticket $500 (even though the AP's report indicates that tickets are $750 a piece), because that's the price that a live chat operateor at nets.com indicated I would be paying.

Now, the "value add" of the Izod Center seems a little tricky; it's not like you're getting a private area or a luxury box. What you're getting is access to the same free food that every single courtside ticket holder gets. Now, the parking pass is a little tougher, because just buying straight courtside tix, you don't get that, although I would imagine that anyone who coughs up 25 large probably warrants someone from the ticket office calling the normal seatholder and requesting that they mail it back in.

Whatever, the point being is that you're paying $20,000 for the tickets and getting the parking pass thrown in (for 10 games, anyway, that's a decent value, relative to the normal purchase). And, on top of that, you're getting a New Jersey Net to come over for dinner, or to your kid's birthday party or for whatever the hell you want, within reason.

Is that good value? Well, actually, yeah. It's not that freaking bad, provided that you're a Nets fan and you have a ton of money to waste and you think your kid would forever cherish the time that Devin Harris attended his birthday. Or, you know, if you're willing to pay 25 grrrr to spend a few hours picking Brook Lopez' brain; now that's a steal.