Stinkface Chronicles: Iggy Popped

Rookies. What do they know?

Not much except that, with the per diem paid over the table in NBA instead of under it in college, they need to get the donuts before practice, carry their teammates' bags and stay out of the way of the veterans.

Oh, about that last part? The Nets' Terrence Williams, rookie out of Louisville, may need to work on it a bit.

Video after the jump.

You see, poor Mr. Williams (and to be fair, two teammates) had the misfortune of trying to check the Sixers' Andre Iguodala on a fast break last Friday. And unlike the indignities of fetching fried pastry weathered by rookies off the court, Williams' suffered his inaugural association humiliation on it.

Iguodala, the man who delivered the blow to Williams' self-esteem, unleashed a dunk so furious that Iggy's teammates were moved to hold each other.



Let's look at the dunk itself. Like many of today's bruising, well-built forwards in the NBA, Iguodala tucked the ball in the crook of his elbow as if he were going to plunge into a Lincoln Financial Field end zone instead of emasculating T-Will by sweeping the leg on Williams' Y-chromosome.

But Iggy's tuck served two purposes: one, going one-on-three as he did, Iguodala had to protect the rock, and two, it allowed him to cup it so, as the late, great Chick Hearn once said -- and Sixers announcers Marc Zumoff alluded to -- "rock the baby to sleep." Then again, if anyone rocks their baby like this, I'm calling Child Protective Services, because it's clearly abusive.

Veterans Bobby Simmons, who has never played much defense in his career, and Courtney Lee, who probably had Dwight Howard come down hard on him in practice last season in Orlando more than a couple of times, backed away once they saw Iguodala tuck it. They know you don't pass from that position. But Williams challenged, and the rookie paid the price. Moments after Iguodala sent the Wachovia Center crowd into a frenzy, he nearly sent Williams into the courtside patrons.

Williams will learn. In the meantime, he can always tell his grandkids about the day he gave a piggy back ride to Iggy.

As for the Sixers bench, the dunk was cause for celebration. Because it was early in the game, most of the Philly subs had their warmups on and you can't really tell who's who from the camera angle. But you can see one Sixer get up, run down the length of the bench and embrace a teammate. Very touching.

Yet, the most interesting reaction may be from an assistant coach, who may or may not be Mike O'Koren. Check the video at the four-second mark. Just as Iguodala takes off, the coach two seats to the right of the first Sixer in his warmups, pops up as if his chair were wired for an electric shock. Decorum dictates, however, and he catches himself before he stands up.

Whether the coach was anticipating something great or whether he was just caught in Iguodala's backdraft can be debated. But when a seen-it-all coach does this and gets caught up in a slam, you got stinkface.

Speaking of which, Rudy Gay, who has perpetrated a few nasty slams in his time, got his on Tuesday night as he fought the Outlaw, but the Outlaw won.



Travis Outlaw, my goodness, you're a bad man. First off, the rebound was one of those man-among-boys reach-back-and-snatch-it-right-out-of-your-grille boards. But to follow up with a windmill off of both feet and in Gay's mug, well, sir, I must stand an applaud as the fans wearing jerseys with your number did at the end of the clip. Well done, and yes, as the announcer noticed, "And look at Rudy Gay. He's stunned!"

As were we all.

And finally, our FanHouse man in Northern California, Tom Ziller, threw this one our way, a sweet, sweet inbounds pass from Donte Greene to Jason Thompson. We'll let him explain.



"Nothing great from either bench (GSW was looking morose at that point). But watch Donte when JT actually throws it down. He mimics it, like he was actually executing the dunk off his pass. It's like a talent-show dad doing the choreography from the audience."

Agreed, Greene's reaction was priceless. But there was a slight bench reaction, not, however, from the Warriors players but Golden State coach Don Nelson. He looks perturbed, miffed and altogether bothered. He smacks his hands, shakes his head and thinks, "Paul Mokeski would have never let that happen. I need to go home to Hawai'i."

Nellie only has himself to blame. The Warriors are a mess of his own making and his stinkface may become permanent.