Stinkface Chronicles: Truth Hurts

Thanks to the long Thanksgiving weekend, maybe you haven't been as engaged in the NBA as you should have been. And maybe you haven't seen Boston's Paul Pierce slam on, and into, Toronto's Chris Bosh's giblets on Friday.

But we trust you have been paying attention because you're that kind of fanatic. Football may be the weekend's main course, but it ain't Thanksgiving without the sides and Pierce's stuffing right on Bosh's stove top fills out the menu quite well.

One of our blog brethren, Andrew Sharp at SBNation, thinks Pierce's dunk needs no further comment.

We respectfully disagree. Because Pierce's MMA move finds the mark, we get one of the rare "ultimate stinkface" dunks we've seen in sometime. Get hit there and try not to make a stinkface. Go ahead. Try it. We dare you.

(Video after the jump.)



We can't, nay, we refuse to decline comment on this dunk because we have plenty to comment on. From Pierce's flexing (he received a T for taunting) to the varied reaction among the fans in the baseline seats to Bosh's teammates lack of reaction and CB4's reaction to their inaction there is still much to digest after gorging ourselves this holiday weekend.

First, there's Pierce's post-punk pose. It's not a full-out flex, but the official saw just enough Venice Beach and Kevin Garnett-influenced mean mug to give Pierce the perpendicular hand signal. Back in the day, you could point three or four times to the fallen and get a highlight reel. These days, bending your elbow at a 90-degree angle gets your opponent a free throw.

Thanks, Malice at the Palace. You've ruined everything.

Take the varied reactions among the fans in the baseline seats. Let's start with the woman closest to Bosh. She knows the score right away and nearly doubles over in sympathy pain. Or laughter. Or both. But at one point, it appears as if she wants to go all Kemp-on-Lister on Bosh. Thankfully, she resists the urge to point. Then she starts to applaud. Awkward. The youngster with her is slightly awed and mostly frightened by what has just happened.

That's nothing compared to the reaction to the guy in the khakis next to the youngster. Points for him for his khakis not being pleated. Points taken away, however, for standing an applauding like he's a representative who's just heard a wonderful talking point during a joint session of Congress. I have never seen a more incongruous reaction to a dunk in all my life. It just looks as if he's giving a standing O for a wonderful performance of Madama Butterfly. If you look closely, you could swear he said, "Bravissimo, bravissimo. Encore!" and see the opera glasses bulging in his shirt pocket.

Then, there's the reaction about 10 seconds into the clip of the bald gentleman behind the kid in the ugly black-and-white jacket on the cutaway after the dunk. Men the world over know that look. It's the international sign for "breathtaking." It's involuntary and definitely sympathetic. Most of us, save Pierce and his teammates, made that face after seeing the dunk.

As for Bosh, one of the game's nicer guys, was not only injured (for a moment), but also insulted that his teammates were less than forthcoming with their defense of him. As FanHouse's Tom Ziller noted, Bosh wished his Toronto teammates were more willing to enter the 36th Chamber to help their fallen comrade with their Shaolin technique or go all Hanson Brothers (some NSFW language) on the Celtics.

But it didn't happen and Bosh lay on the TD Garden floor alone with the pain no one wanted to share.

Finally, a couple of quick hitters on the audio. I don't know what is said as soon as Pierce breaks down Rasho Nesterovic off the dribble, but it either sounds as if Bosh is being called out: "Watch me, c'mon Chris," or being called for help: "Watch out, here he comes, Chris." It's tough to tell, but if Pierce challenged Bosh in mid-dribble then that just adds to the dunk's aura, which is already mighty.

Also, doesn't it sound as if Tom Heinsohn just wanted to hand out a huge Tommy Point as a reward for living vicariously through Pierce? Back in Tommy's day, dunks were considered unsportsmanlike. I'm sure he would have loved to have kneed his way to the rim. At some point, he probably did on a layup.

Derrick Rose on Greg Oden



Sadly, the longest clip I can find of Chicago's Derrick Rose going nuts over Greg Oden is a mere 16 seconds. It is, however, a glorious 16 seconds as Rose flashes all his skills -- ballhandling, quickness, leaping ability, flair for the dramatic -- as he flushes with two hands -- TWO HANDS! -- on Oden.

For us Stinkface aficinados, 16 seconds isn't long enough to get reactions from Rose's teammates, the fans or the announcers. All we get is a Rose "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa!" and a weird booing-oohing sound from the (Not Derrick) Rose Garden faithful.

Still, it's tough to fault Oden too much on this one, though he was tardy to the tin, which resulted in him getting shown up. Oden, like many men his size, end up on YouTube because they're enlisted to provide help defense to a guard who can't stay in front of his man. That would be Martell Webster, who should give up his No. 23 for dishonoring Michael Jordan's defense.